


A Ninth Chance

by Ingol



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, Naruto
Genre: Gen, Multiple Personalities, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2018-08-07 10:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7710820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ingol/pseuds/Ingol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mukuro is reborn into the Naruto world with multiple personalities for each life he led previously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on ff.net.  
> May be edited later.

The newborn mentally sighed as it was birthed.

...

"It's a girl!" Someone announced.

"Hikari. Yes, I'll call you Hikari." A female voice softly told her. She felt a hand stroke her forehead. Great, she was still blind. She hated being a baby. She paid no mind to the fact that her gender had been switched... again. She let out a scream to express her annoyance, and was quieted by the gentle rocking.

"Can I hold her?" A voice asked. It sounded young.

"Just don't bite her." The female voice, presumably her mother, told the other. She was passed to another set of arms, one that felt smaller.

...

What did her mother mean by bite?

"She's tiny." The voice said.

"You were like that too when you were a baby. Your sister is going to grow up in no time."

So she had a sibling in this world. This was new. She had a mother and a sibling. But where was her father?

She let out a low whine and grabbed a fistful of her sibling's shirt. It took a lot of effort. And it seemed that she would need to train herself up from scratch again. How troublesome.

There was some cooing, most likely from her mother. She yawned loudly, and lost consciousness to sleep, still in her sibling’s arms.

Hikari sat in the mindspace alone. The darkness shifted to the little garden that had always been her mindscape. Entaka sat under a tree, reading a book. Takao was sitting on a bench, one arm supporting his head, and the other on his sword. Mukuro was tending to his illusionary plants.

It was interesting, how each life had affected her so differently. Entaka had been her seventh reincarnation, and was the first of Mukuro’s reincarnations to form a permanent subconscious in their shared mind. Takao had been the second, and thus had plenty of help from Entaka. It was probably somewhere around then where Mukuro’s personality stopped heavily affecting them, his reincarnations.

She was Hikari now. Hikari was a newborn, but with over a century of mental experience. Hikari shifted into the body of a teenager.

“Let’s start.”

Hikari yawned once more as she woke up, finding that this time, she could see. She felt someone watching her, and slowly turned to look back at the watcher.

The boy had blond hair and bluish-grey eyes. He was standing over her crib, his hands on the railing, and were those mouths on his palms?

This wasn't her first time being reincarnated. But this was her first time being thrust into a story she had read before, three lifetimes ago, when she was still a bitter male with nothing better to do.

This was her brother? An insane antagonist was her brother in this life. Hikari steadily ignored the fact that technically Mukuro was also an insane antagonist. She stared at him and he stared back at her.

Slowly, she smiled and reached for him, making grabby gestures with her chubby hands. He leaned closer to her. She tugged at his long blond fringes. He grinned back and lifted her from her crib. Sure, he would probably turn out to be a psychotic bomber, but he was still her brother, and for now, she thought as she cuddled into her brother's chest, she was very much content.

Three lifetimes in different realms and one with a certain Sky had mellowed her. She no longer wanted the world to burn to blood and ashes. No, she would burn those who dared to hurt her loved ones to blood and ashes.

* * *

 

Hikari sucked on the milk bottle her mom was feeding her. Her mother had long blond hair that reached to her shoulder blades. Her grey eyes were accented by the pale skin that she had. Hikari looked at her reflection on the bottle, going cross-eyed in the process. She had the same blond hair as her mother, and probably the same heart-face shape too. Her eyes were a bright blue, reminiscent of her life as Mukuro, even though they were more of a dark indigo then.

Hikari experimentally waggled her fingers and toes. She stuck out her tongue as she reached to dismantle her crib, only to be stopped by an unfamiliar person. He had reddish-brown hair and bright blue eyes.

“Tou-san!” Her brother shouted and ran towards their father.

This was their father? Hikari tilted her head to study the man. Huh, she could tell where her eyes came from at least.

Her brother looked more like their father, she concluded.

“I’m sorry I missed your labour, dear.” Their father lowered Hikari back into the crib.

Her brother mimed gagging behind their parents’ back. Hikari cackled, though it was more of a high-pitched squeal on her baby self. He grinned at her, picking her up and rushing from the room so that she wouldn’t have to witness anymore of the mushy scene.

Damn did she like her brother. Somehow, Hikari had a feeling that for the first time in all her lives, she was going to be pampered as a child.

* * *

 

Deidara was four. He knew that he was known as a genius to many, entering the Academy at the start of the year and was due to graduate in a year or two. He loved his parents and his little sister, Hikari. But while his sister had proved to be smart, probably smarter than him, Deidara knew that she wasn’t in any way just a genius.

Hikari knew things that he didn’t, that even Mama and Papa didn’t. She set off his ingrained ‘danger’ senses ever so often. He loved her, but she was scary in a strange ‘I can ruin you’ kind of way.

* * *

 

This observation of Deidara was further cemented a year later when he had accidentally bit off the wing of her plushie, Mukurou. Mama had brought Hikari out into Iwa one day, and for some reason, Hikari had been attracted to the white owl that had been sitting on display. Given that Hikari was usually ‘good’, Mama had bought it for her. Hikari had then affectionately named it Mukurou.

She had it for about a month, even going to great lengths to keep Mukurou clean, when Deidara accidentally bit it while holding on to it, and in a rare moment of clumsiness, ripped the wing clean off.

* * *

 

There was a moment of silence. Hikari went shock still. (She still had the ingrained instincts of a one-year-old, damn it.) Then she pitched what Deidara would call a Nightmare of a tantrum. She wailed, even breaking out the waterworks. Deidara stumbled back nervously, still holding onto her owl.

Then, she threw seeds at him. Seeds that quickly sprouted into large plants the size of his head in mere seconds. The plants had mouths with sharp teeth, and had acid dripping out of the openings.

Deidara would swear in the future, that they were definitely not Genjutsu. He had a very healthy respect for his baby sister though, and it took him a week to stop cringing at the sight of her.

* * *

 

Her illusions were different from this ‘genjutsu’. ‘Genjutsu’ affects the senses, a bastardised version of illusions. Her illusions affected the body entirely by tricking it to believe that it was there. That was how Mukuro had managed to convince Chrome’s body that there were still organs in her body. In other words, her illusions differed from genjutsu as they could directly affect the body, something the ninjas in this world had yet to find a counter to. Honestly, ninjas were so caught up with their chakra that they forgot the most important thing: willpower. If you believed that her illusions were not real enough, they wouldn’t affect you.

With that conclusion, she realised that in this world, she had absolute power; she was its God. After all, as Mukuro had once said: the whole world is an illusion. She just had to find a way to twist it to her liking. Ever so slightly, ever so subtle, until it was in her complete control. What could these shinobi ‘illusionists’ do that a real illusionist couldn’t?

She smiled inwardly and began planning. To learn how to deceive, to pretend not to know, to trick others right under their noses, to know, observe and alter the world around you such that no one could know what was real and what wasn’t. She knew these simple rules of being an illusionist.

How dare those ‘Genjutsu Masters’ call themselves illusionists, when none of them knew that illusionists were utter realists that could never wallow in denial or that illusionists could never promise indefinite things; that illusionists were always meant to downplay themselves from a ferocious beast to a harmless insect, that illusionists were not meant to be seen or known.

She had let her first brother naively believe that she could conjure plants out of nothing. He had believed that it was an illusion at first (rightly so), but was soon aware of how ‘real’ those plants could be. She had left it at that. He didn’t know that she could summon armies of them. He didn't know that she could alter reality by just casting a simple illusion. And for all that she felt undeniable love to her brother, he would never know that she could coerce and make anything with a mind believe and follow her to her own whims.

At the end of his fifth year, Deidara proudly showed off his hitai-ate to his baby sister. Hikari looked up from the history book she was engrossed in and up at him when he had come barrelling home. (Which was pretty impressive given that their village was an hour’s walk from the gates of Iwa, and that he wasn’t panting at all.)

“I graduated! I’m a genin now, imoto.” (Given the fact that he hadn’t actually paused to think about bragging to his parents, but his one-year-old sister, it actually showed how close they were and how much Deidara actually respected her.) Hikari left that though process for later.

“That’s great!” Hikari beamed at her brother proudly. And wasn’t it? When they were five, Mukuro had been experimented on by his own parents, Entaka had been sold into slavery, beaten into submission, and Takao had been a starving street urchin busy learning how to wield a sword to defend himself after losing his family and almost dying himself to hundreds of near-fatal attacks. (Probably not the kind of ‘great’ Deidara was taking it, but learning how to kill people _willingly_ , he had it good.)

Their parents would later come in sometime in the late afternoon, coming back from some shinobi/ kunoichi mission, congratulating Deidara, who was still proud of himself of making his sister proud of him.

Hikari had laughed at that thought, startling her entire family.

* * *

 

It was screwed up. Hikari admitted to herself. She was fucked up.

She had spent her second birthday refining on how to kill people in her mind. She practised her katas in the safe walls of her home, unknown to both of her parents. Deidara had an inkling, because he was smart. He had always been intelligent in that way. He paid more attention to her. He loved her, and respected her in turns.

She knew that he knew that she was more than just a child. Even the most realistic child genius wouldn’t have the experience that she had. The experience in running an underground syndicate, the experience in hidden politics. A child genius wouldn’t have known all the ways to kill someone. Neither would the child know how to manoeuvre someone into revealing all their cards unknowingly.

A life of a shinobi was dark, filled with all shades of grey.

But no shinobi had ever been her. No shinobi had ever singlehandedly destroyed an entire organisation, albeit a small one. No shinobi had ever stained their hands with the amount of blood she had. Her kill count from _all_ her lives reached _thousands_. Hundreds, perhaps, but not thousands. Never thousands.

* * *

 

Hikari was twenty-five months old when she met a man. He was just sitting there, the only person in a small stall in her little village. She loved small villages. Everyone knew each other. Need to fix something? Go get that man three houses down the street. Want some good gossip? Visit that woman next door to have tea.

Hikari was bored, she would admit that. But she had sensed something in that man. Or maybe he was just interesting. Who wore heavy armour in broad daylight anymore?

So she had hopped onto the seat next to the man, ordered some yakitori, and asked very bluntly.

“Who are you?”

The man turned to look at her.

“Just a shinobi.”

Like that wasn’t vague or anything.

“I’m Hikari. Who are you?” She repeated.

“…Han.” The man turned away from her to return to his food. Hikari pouted.

“So what do you do?” Hikari persisted. She wasn’t going to let entertainment go so easily. Besides, Han was… different. Like he knew how it felt to be put in a nasty light.

“I’m a shinobi.” Han repeated.

“I mean whaddya do? I know what shinobi are.” Hikari shot the man the cutest glare she could manage.

“I am a frontal assault fighter.” He said after a small sigh.

So he was strong. Few ninjas were ever used for frontal assault. Usually, jinchuriki were sent out. Ah. No wonder. Jinchuriki were rarely put in a good light, especially in Iwa. They were viewed as weapons, and were closely monitored. It was likely that there were shinobi somewhere in the village keeping track of him.

“Ngh.” She made a small noise of comprehension.

How hard was it for someone to not be treated as a human being? If shinobi were considered tools, what would that make jinchuriki? Tools that were there to be thrown away at your very whims?

Hikari speared her yakitori harder than necessary.

It wasn’t right. Jinchuriki never wanted to be demon containers. They were ostracised, most likely from birth. How many people had let their prejudice get the better of them and discriminated against them? How many lonely nights had these containers spent, to never have a shred of hope?

It was like Entaka all over again. Except that Entaka had memories of a previous life, she had Mukuro to help her. The only person this Han had was probably the other container lurking somewhere around Iwa.

“How hard is it?” She asked, voice slightly softer. Han glanced at her.

“It’s the only life I’ve ever had.” Ah. If Hikari had decided to take it a different way… She mentally gave a bitter smile.

“Life isn’t fair.” Hikari repeated. Life hadn’t been fair to Takao. Life hadn’t been fair to Entaka. Life hadn’t been fair to Mukuro. But for once, life had been good to Hikari. And that was scary, because Hikari had never known better. She had never been pampered.

“You got it good kid.” Han managed a snort from under that armour.

“I know.” Hikari smiled just a little. And she knew. Three lives of pain taught her that. And she’ll be damned if she ever took it for granted.

Han just huffed and shook his head. And she knew that she had his interest.

“Life of a shinobi is hard, but life of a jinchuriki is even worse.” She spoke softly, in a way such that no one else could hear her.

“Smart kid.” Han commented almost offhandedly. Hikari knew that he was anything but.

“Thank you.” Hikari beamed. If her smile was a tad bit less cheerful, the man wouldn’t know.

“Few people ever listen to the woes of a jinchuriki.” Han stated it like it was a joke.

“Is that more than people who would listen to a kid?” Hikari asked. Han was intelligent. He had to learn how to read people because of the demon in him. He didn’t care about age. That was what she had managed to derive from him so far. He didn’t understand her like Deidara did. But-

“You are no kid. Young, yes. But you are not a child.” Hikari quirked a smile.

“Really.” Hikari drawled, finishing off the last of her food.

“I’m bored, Han-nii. Let’s play!” Hikari announced cheerfully. That took him off guard at least.

“Wha-”

Hikari shot him her best kicked-puppy expression. Han froze altogether. Hikari took it as her win, and dragged him off. What could she say? She was bored.

* * *

 

“Wait, wait. So everything that lives needs chakra to survive?” Hikari asked. They were a distance aways from her village. Somehow, she had managed to strong-arm Han into explaining the basics of a shinobi for her. His watchers were amused. Very very amused, she thought as she glanced in the direction of the poorly hidden snickers.

“Then why can’t shinobi absorb chakra from the plants?”

“That’s nature chakra.” Han replied long-sufferingly.

“Do you even want to be a kunoichi?” He asked. Hikari paused. Did she?

“…I-I don’t know.” She replied haltingly. No, she would never stand to be under someone’s rule. She would never be able to put the village before her brother. Her parents perhaps, but not her brother.

She glanced up at Han, who raised an eyebrow at her internal conflict.

“I… I want to travel. I want to see the world. I want to know what sights there are in the Elemental Countries and see them all. I want to… I want to tread out of the Elemental Countries.”

“That’s a bold proclamation.”

“I know. That’s why I want to get stronger, so that I can survive.” Hikari clenched her fists. She knew she was weak in this life, so pathetically weak. Mukuro was the _best_ illusionist. Entaka _perfected_ the art of silent killing. Takao could single-handedly push back _armies_ given enough weapons. Where did that leave her?

Hikari considered the fact that she was referring to herself and her various lives as separate people, even though they were essentially herself.

“…I think I’m having an identity crisis.” Hikari mumbled. Han raised a barely visible eyebrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Hikari waved off Han and his watchers sometime during late noon, and shuffled back to her house.

So chakra was pretty much everything in this universe. If you didn’t have chakra, you would die. But wasn’t there some way to absorb chakra from the surroundings to prevent death from chakra exhaustion? Nature chakra ran the risk of being turned to stone. Was it possible to convert nature chakra to normal chakra?

Hikari blew out a breath. This was confusing. She briefly considered going on a sabbatical to visit some monks to find out. That idea was quickly wiped away. Her brother would blow a fuse. She hated being in the body of a two-year-old.

She flopped onto her bed and dove into her mindscape.

Hikari ignored her other consciousness, and tried to look for a pool. There had to be a pool of chakra somewhere!

Takao coughed to gain her attention, and pointed at the fountain. Hikari felt like slapping herself. Of course. Hidden in plain sight.

She slowly walked up to the fountain, and leaned over the edge, reaching a hand out to touch her chakra pool.

All of a sudden, she was jerked out of her mindscape. Hikari opened her eyes and saw her hands filled with a bluish colour. So this was chakra. Interesting. So chakra was a kind of energy that replaced life force. Or rather, chakra was life force. So shinobi essentially used their own life force for their jutsus.

An image of the Arcobalenos came to mind. Hikari laughed bitterly and shook her head to clear her thoughts.

“…Hikari?” Deidara stood at the doorway and watched his little sister with slightly narrowed eyes.

“I’m fine nii-san. I’m fine.” Hikari gave him a reassuring smile.

Deidara stared at her.

“All right.” He nodded stiffly.

Hikari smiled at his back. She loved him, and she knew he loved her back. So why did she feel like she was always staring at the backs of the ones she loved?

* * *

 

It was a rare day when both her parents were off on a mission and her brother was home on leave.

“I wanted to spend some time with you.” Deidara admitted when she asked. Hikari would deny that she had felt warm inside at his words.

The two of them would eat lunch together, and Hikari would spend the day telling Deidara outrageous-seeming stories.

“Once upon a time, there was a little girl born. She had hair as dark as the night, and skin as pale as snow. She was dainty, but she was loved only by her father. Her name was Entaka. When Entaka was five, her father died of illness. Left with nothing, Entaka’s mother had no choice but to sell Entaka into slavery. On her fifth birthday, Entaka was officially a slave, where all her light was forcefully extinguished. She was taught how to be submissive, and to do everything her master asked of her without question. Entaka was ten when she was finally sold.” Hikari told her brother, as if she was recalling a memory. Deidara just sat there and listened, because how could he not when it felt like his sister was laying her soul bare for him?

“…She learned, she waited…”

_Entaka slowly chopped the vegetables. Most slaves stuck together, but there were a few that would betray each other for something. She couldn’t afford to trust anyone. Entaka still had her long and slightly wavy black hair. Her skin was still pale. And she knew she looked like a princess out of a fairytale. But for slaves, being pretty was just a disadvantage. Entaka knew that her ‘master’ was waiting for her to grow up a bit more. She mentally scoffed. No one was her master._

“When Entaka was thirteen, she stole her master’s daggers and stabbed him in the lungs. Entaka escaped.”

_Entaka stole her master’s dagger. She tightened the sheath-holder on her arm, such that it was hidden by her kimono. She walked lightly to her master’s room. It was time. She knocked gently on the door. She looked blankly at his pudgy, greedy face. Entaka unsheathed the dagger and stabbed him in the lungs. She watched with satisfaction as he wheezed, gasping for air, begging for help, only to breathe in his own blood. Entaka looked around the room, grabbing whatever money she could find. She placed them into a money pouch an elderly slave had given to her before he died, grabbed the keys and slipped out of the room. Entaka locked the door and dropped the keys, using her foot to rub them in the dust, before kicking it into the room._

_She made a roundabout to her ex-master’s weapon room, where she grabbed a handgun. She slipped it into the folds of her kimono and made it off the property before anyone could find the body._

“That marked the start of one of the best assassins in the region...”

_Entaka found and killed those men with money. She soon earned a reputation as ‘Yuki-onna’. A beautiful woman who appeared out of nowhere and killed those who had wronged her, to slip back into nothing._

_Entaka knew all the ways to kill someone. Stabbing someone in the throat with a pen. Grabbing someone’s head and knocking it at an exact angle against the edge of a table. Breaking a wooden chair into pieces and stabbing someone with it. Strangling someone with clothes lying around. Putting poison in their tea. Putting something in their food such that they would choke on it and die._

_There were so many possibilities, not counting Mukuro’s illusions. She knew she had no regrets._

Hikari started at the feeling of someone hugging her, but relaxed when she realised that it was her brother.

Absently, she wondered how could Entaka be so different from Mukuro. How could Hikari be so different from Entaka? Mukuro was a psychopathic bastard with a sick sense of humour. Entaka was a cold and detached slave-turned-assassin. Takao was basically Mukuro pulling a Yamamato.

“If someone did something to you, you’ll tell me, un?” Deidara asked her, looking into her eyes with a serious expression. Hikari smiled.

“Yeah. Of course nii-san.” She had no idea if she was lying, when she was telling him, only in the form of stories.

Deidara pulled away from her.

“Can we get some takoyaki, nii-san?” Hikari asked.

“I think you’re addicted to it.” Deidara muttered, but got up to visit the food stall anyways. Hikari slipped her hand in his, and they walked together, side-by-side. Hikari let a small, but real smile surface. It was times like this when she thought that Mukuro was wrong, that maybe the Human realm was worth it after all.

* * *

 

Deidara held his sister closer to her as the thunderstorm outside raged. Hikari wasn’t scared, she never seemed to be afraid, but he pressed closer to her anyways. There were times when she would shiver. He would never ask whether if it was from the cold or from fear. He would only play the silent companion.

Then there were times like now when she would hum or sing in an unknown language, like she was singing someone to sleep. Occasionally, he wondered if she was singing herself to sleep.

“You've got it all You lost your mind in the sound There's so much more You can reclaim your crown You're in control Rid of the monsters inside your head Put all your faults to bed You can be king again”

She sang softly. Deidara felt himself drifting in and out of sleep, and wondered if she was singing to him.

Hikari glanced at her sleeping brother.

Chrome had sang that once. Perhaps she had wanted Mukuro to realise where he had gone wrong, perhaps she had wanted him to rise up from the ashes once more. Mukuro would never know. Neither would Hikari.

She snuggled into his chest. Her brother wouldn’t understand her words either, but she could only hope that he wouldn’t fall into that downwards spiral of insanity, just like he had in the original series. He wasn’t a character anymore, he was her brother. He loved her more than their parents did. She loved her parents, but she would gladly sacrifice them for her brother, even if it meant that he would hate her.

* * *

 

Hikari was three-and-a-half when she met the five-tailed jinchuriki once more. She had greeted him with a beaming smile with sparkles. (Sasagawa Kyoko had taught Mukuro a lot of things about cuteness. Hikari wouldn’t forget her anytime soon.) She knew that there was nothing his watchers could do about her, because she belonged to a small clan whose kekkai-genkai were highly valued by Iwa’s Explosion Corps. Once she had realised that, she had taken advantage of it whenever she needed to.

She had found out that Han disliked humanity in general, leaving bits of his soft spots out for kids like her. He was like Mukuro in that sense.

Hikari then spent the rest of the day playing with his steam that was gently exuded from his armour.

Hikari actually liked Han as a person, partly because Mukuro would have formed a sense of kinship with him, and partly because he was nice, and never treated her like she wouldn’t understand something whenever she asked a question. He ranked somewhere slightly below her parents on her list of people she liked.

She was briefly reminded of a little boy with brown hair, huge shining eyes, a striped scarf that covered his chin and a gap-toothed smile. Even three lifetimes after, she still regretted some things that she had done as Mukuro.

This pampered life had softened her.

* * *

 

Her brother was now eight, and he had somehow developed a love for sculpting. He was becoming more and more like the character in canon, and Hikari had absolutely no idea if her presence here had changed anything. That scared her, because she didn’t want her brother’s arms to be ripped off. She didn’t want him to self-combust. She didn’t want him to become that madman.

Deidara was meant to be reckless, yes. But he was supposed to be her brother, and that meant returning to her!

“Nii-san?” Hikari tugged on her brother’s sleeve almost childishly.

“Yeah?” He looked down at her.

“Promise me something?”

“What?”

“Promise me that you’ll never blow yourself up.”

“…I’m not that careless, imoto.” Deidara smirked.

“Promise me.” Hikari persisted. She never wanted that scene to happen. It didn’t matter if he didn’t understand now. Her brother never went against his promises. He had better remember if it ever came to that.

“…I promise.” He raked a hand through his hair and sighed.

Hikari stared at him like she was taking him in. She then nodded resolutely and walked away. Deidara rubbed his eyes. What was up with her?

* * *

 

It was rare when the whole family was home, but it did happen occasionally.

After breakfast, her mother pulled Hikari closer to her. 

"How about we train while the boys play around?" She whispered into Hikari’s ear playfully. Hikari nodded enthusiastically. Finally!

"This is my favorite jutsu. Then again, I'm probably biased because this is the one I made." She laughed and did some hand seals.

"Senkai no hanabira!" She exclaimed, and a dome of petals formed around her.

"Throw something at me." She ordered. Hikari mentally shrugged, picked up a pebble and tossed it to her mother. The petals knocked the pebble around, and the pebble bounced onto the ground in front of me. Hikari picked it up and examined it. It was chipped badly.

"I wanna learn that." She quickly said.

"I was going to teach you anyway." Mother smiled at her.

“The petals are a mixture of genjutsu and earth release. Using genjutsu, I made the bits of rock seem like petals to conceal them.” Mother explained while Hikari listened attentively. So enemies would be more likely to let their guard down, even if it was just slightly. That was clever. Hikari reflected thoughtfully.

* * *

 

Hikari sat on the top of the tree. She was reminded of her first conversation with Han. Did she really want to explore the world? For the first time, she felt lost. In her past lives, she always had something to do. She was always working towards something. But now, she had absolutely nothing to do, no drive except to protect her brother. Maybe she would explore the world. She would then write down records of the sights, the people and the journey. And maybe, just maybe, she would find her purpose.

Mukuro had his purpose, no matter how skewed. He had always wanted the downfall of the mafia world. In the end, he had joined Sawada Tsunayoshi and his mafia-turned-vigilante-group. Entaka had wanted to survive, and to free slaves like her from those who took advantage of the slave trade. Takao wanted to survive as well, he had trained himself up from scratch and drove away those who dared come close to the ruins of his birth village. He had wanted to rebuild his village, to see it prosper once more.

And Hikari. Hikari once had no purpose. She still had no purpose other than to protect (and wasn't that ironic?) But perhaps she would explore the world. And maybe then, she would find her purpose once more.

* * *

"What do you think of this?" Her brother pulled her to a side and grinned almost maniacally as he yelled, 'KATSU!'

The resulting explosion was beautiful. She gasped as the white light formed and burst outwards. The loud blast hurt her ears at first, but she quickly ignored that in favor of watching the orange dome of pure energy form and dissipate, small cinders floating down onto the crater where the small patch of earth had once been.

"It's amazing." She whispered, clearly awed. Her brother had already started to develop his explosions into an art form.

"Yeah. Art's a blast, un."

Hikari forced herself to not freeze and to keep moving. Did she even change anything at all?

Deidara seemed to notice, because his smile slipped slightly.

“Hikari?”

“I-I’m fine, nii-san.” She smiled brightly, never mind the fact that it was forced like over half her smiles were.

“If you say so.” He said, still unconvinced.

How could she be happy and cheerful when her brother was descending into darkness? She didn’t want that. She wanted her brother alive, damn it! She was scared, so afraid, but she couldn’t show it, because it was dangerous. Questions would be asked, unwanted questions. She wouldn’t be able to answer them all truthfully, even if they were half-truths. There would then be a small chasm between them, because _Hikari wasn’t Mukuro_. Hikari couldn’t lie to her loved ones without feeling guilt. Hikari was compulsive, no matter how much of Mukuro’s manipulative mind she had retained. It was dangerous, so dangerous. And the worst part was that Hikari _knew_ that she might be heading down this dangerous path, and there was _nothing_ she could do about it.

So she lay low and waited.

Waiting, just like always.

Just like Mukuro. Like Entaka. Like Takao.

Hikari was always waiting.

* * *

 

Hikari was four now. And she had a bad feeling. Her brother was confused when he had returned from his C-ranked mission and was barrelled into by his sister. Hikari kept glancing at the clock. Because something bad was going to happen, and please don’t let it happen to her brother.

Sometime late at night, a ninja knocked on their door. Deidara opened the door warily, his sister behind her.

“...killed in action.” Hikari sat down with a loud thump. She felt numb. A part of her knew that this might happen. She wanted to feel sad. But she also felt relief that it wasn’t her brother. She hated herself for it. They were her parents. She might not have spent a lot of time with them, but they were her parents. They hadn’t abandoned her like Mukuro’s, Entaka’s, or Takao’s. They had stuck by her and her brother, even going onto more missions to make enough money to keep the both of them comfortable. They actually took care of her, so why was she relieved? She should be feeling sadder than this. But the most prominent emotions were guilt and relief.

Would Hikari have gone to hell if it was possible? She was a bad person after all. But she was numb all over, feeling the wrong emotions.

She felt warmth, and broke out of her trance. Her brother was trying to wipe away tears while hugging her. The jonin was politely not noticing his tears. Hikari felt something wet run down her cheek. Was she crying? Or were those her brother’s tears?

“Thank you for telling us.” Hikari managed to choke out. She didn’t feel like speaking. Her throat constricted. The shinobi nodded and shunshined away. Hikari shut the door.

She collapsed back onto the floor and silently mourned for those who she had called her parents. They had actually taken care of her. And they were the first set of parents who she had called ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’, and actually meant it. Because unlike those of her past selves, they had _cared_.

She buried herself into her brother’s chest. For the first time, she mourned for the ones who she had called her parents. She didn’t know whether she was crying, but she didn’t care. She might not have loved them as much as her brother did, but they cared for her, and she liked them. She wouldn’t be able to know what they liked and disliked, like her brother did, but she knew what they were like. And she had loved them in return.

Then, something occurred to her.

They were orphans now. Her brother was an orphan. The story was catching up to her.

* * *

 

They spent the night mourning. Then, they had to pack their stuff the next week, because the Tsuchikage had adopted them.

Her brother had the option of being an emancipated minor, but he wouldn’t leave her. Politically, it was a smart move. Because Deidara was intelligent. Deidara had as much a chance of becoming the next Tsuchikage as the current Tsuchikage’s own granddaughter, who was roughly two years younger than Deidara. But both siblings knew that. Most importantly, Hikari knew that. Because Hikari was vindictive. And she would make Onoki regret moving onto them so soon after the death of the ones she had called her parents. After all, what was Mukuro’s manipulative mind for if she didn’t use it?

Mukuro knew politics. Entaka knew how to verbally stab people in the gut, _painfully_. Takao knew how to gain people’s favour. And Hikari would wield these gifts her previous reincarnations had given her.

* * *

 

The first time the siblings met Onoki after the announcement that they were both adopted, Hikari took whatever chance she could to discreetly insult the old man. Deidara had shot her incredulous looks, because it was basically suicide if Onoki caught on, and because he never knew she had that kind of flair. Her words were all double-edged swords, and she knew that. But whenever she was caught, well, Takao had always been the king of bullshitting.

It was fun watching her brother trying to contain his snickers. She had hard-pressed not to laugh as well, because this was just fun. But if she laughed, that would give the game away, so she ended up keeping her poker face and laughing in her mindscape.


	3. Chapter 3

The Kubatsu clan's kekkai genkai generally started to manifest when they were four. Her brother had developed it earlier than most, ergo the complete mouths on his hands when she was still a newborn.

Hikari never received that kekkai genkai. She had expected this, so she wasn't exactly surprised. But for some reason, Deidara was more disappointed than she was.

Hikari's eye twitched as she watched her brother mope around in his new room. Why was her brother upset when she wasn't?

"Nii-san. It's fine. Stop sulking. I never expected to get the kekkai genkai anyway. I always took after kaa-san more anyways." Hikari told her brother patiently.

"I'm not sulking." Deidara snapped. Hikari raised an amused eyebrow. Deidara scowled petulantly.

Kurotsuchi stared at the younger blonde. She had a vague idea of why her grandfather had insisted on adopting them, and she didn't like it one bit.

The older was a genius and she respected that. But why did they have to take in the kid too? She felt like younger girl had intruded on her territory.

Hikari looked back at the Tsuchikage's granddaughter blankly. She knew what the raven-haired girl was thinking. A certain skylark was always preaching about the animal kingdom after all. Hikari snickered, and felt the glare increase ten-fold.

"Let's spar!" Kurotsuchi challenged.

"Eh?" Hikari tilted her head to the side as the older girl dragged her to a private training ground.

"Why?" Hikari asked.

"To see who's stronger, duh."

"But I don't know any taijutsu." Hikari told her innocently.

She didn't know any taijutsu, but she knew how to fight.

"I don't care!" Kurotsuchi leapt at her. Hikari ducked out of the way.

So this was a test of seeing who was better. Hikari noted. Kurotsuchi most likely knew that Deidara was stronger than her, so she could tolerate his presence at least, but Hikari? Hikari was never officially taught. While her parents and Deidara had taught her a few things, she never had a stable teacher, so it was hard to tell whether she was stronger or not. Hikari smiled inwardly, dodging a punch.

In other words, to make Kurotsuchi respect her, Hikari had to beat her.

Hikari sighed, and slid into a position Entaka had used. She blocked the other girl's punch, and returned with a high-kick. Kurotsuchi evaded that.

As expected from the granddaughter of the Tsuchikage, eh? Hikari laughed grimly inside her head.

If Hikari hadn't had the memories of her previous life, she would have lost. But Hikari did have her memories. So even though her body wasn't used to fighting, especially against an opponent that was trained from birth, she had a high chance of winning.

Hikari caught her opponent's punch. As the other kicked, she shifted position such that the kick would miss, and did a judo throw that disrupted the other's momentum. Hikari used the chance to run and drop-kick the other girl in the chest.

After all, even though her opponent had been trained from birth, Kurotsuchi wasn't experienced. She wouldn't know how to deal with a battle where the flow shifted rapidly, while Hikari did.

Hikari landed on the ground, and planted her feet firmly into the ground.

She watched as her opponent got up shakily.

Somehow, it felt like the flow of battle had shifted.

Hikari let a smile spread on her face. She rushed into the battle-turned-spar again. It had been over four years since she had an actual fight. She spun around in mid-air, and kicked the other. She, no, they dodged the lava-coated fist. So it came down to jutsus now, huh?

Hikari attempted a genjutsu. The world shifted. Kurotsuchi was visibly taken aback by the depth and detail of the genjutsu. Hikari grinned.

She had found out early on that genjutsu worked better on a single opponent. It took some work to get the chakra control down, but once she was done, it turned out that illusionists were great at genjutsu, especially when they were mixed slightly with Mist flames. (So she cheated a little, but it wasn't like anyone would find out.)

Hikari ran and hit the other's neck. Kurotsuchi fainted. Hikari dispelled her genjutsu and sat down, breathing rather heavily. She needed more work. A lot more work. She corrected, glancing at the couple of bruises she had earned.

Mukuro wouldn't have allowed Kurotsuchi to touch him. Entaka would have killed her once she came into arm's reach. Takao… would have obliterated the other.

"What was that throw?" A familiar voice asked. Hikari glanced at the entrance of the training ground. Deidara walked closer to his sister.

"It uses the momentum of the opponent to disable them for a short while." Hikari informed him.

"You made it?"

"…something like that." Deidara frowned slightly, but didn't press her for further answers.

"I'm going to take her to her room." He pointed at Kurotsuchi.

"So you mean you don't mind going into the room of a pre-teen girl?" Hikari smirked. Deidara also seemed to get her implication, because he spluttered and jumped back as if he were burned. Hikari cackled.

"I'll take her." Hikari offered, and dragged the older girl out of the training grounds, kindly ignoring her brother's red ears.

Hikari managed to sneak out of the Tsuchikage's complex. Honestly, she had no need for lessons on etiquette. She knew how to be polite, she just preferred not to act like a stuck-up noble. In a way, she was doing it for Entaka.

Deidara had no time for lessons on etiquette, that lucky guy. He was off training. At this rate, he might be able to take the Chuunin exams next year.

Hikari slipped into a random food stall. Compared to the one food stall in her little village, there were dozens of stalls in Iwagakure. It was disorienting, to be honest.

Hikari was about to order something, when something, or rather, someone caught her eye. She ran out of the stall, and tailed her target. If he was busy, she wouldn't bother him. But if he wasn't…

Suddenly, he disappeared. Hikari blinked in confusion. Then she squeaked as she was lifted up.

"Hi Han-nii!" Hikari waved sheepishly.

She was quickly put down, because who would want to see the hated jinchuriki interact with the newly adopted child of the Tsuchikage. Hikari wasn't exactly happy about that, but what could she do?

She had to bide her time and wait. Wait again.

"I'm always waiting." She told him as she skipped alongside him. He had told her that he was meeting someone called Roshi.

"Why?"

Hikari tilted her head slightly. "I don't know. Maybe I'm waiting for someone to kick start something. Maybe I'm waiting for something to happen. Maybe I'm waiting to grow older to do something. But… I think I'm waiting for a purpose." She told him silently, in a way reminiscent of Entaka.

"Is that so?" Han asked rhetorically. "You know that you've just been adopted by the Tsuchikage, right?"

"I know." Hikari replied grimly.

"You're not happy."

"He forcefully adopted us right after our parents died! It wasn't like I could tell him, sorry, but no. And wherever I go, my brother goes. He only adopted me to get to onii-san." Hikari muttered bitterly.

"Hmm." Han ruffled her hair. Hikari smiled slightly. Han wasn't one who liked physical contact.

"Nii-san knows too. But he still allowed himself to be adopted, even though he's already a genin!" Hikari allowed herself to complain to her companion.

"Really? Who is he?"

"Deidara. Nii-san's supposed to be some kinda combat genius or something. And I know nii-san's smart, but sometimes, he's just stupid!" Hikari kicked a rock childishly.

"And sometimes he just doesn't think! For someone who's supposed to be a genius, he's so idiotic! I love him, 'cos he's my nii-san, and he's my only proper family, but sometimes I feel like he's… just not there. He's starting to become distant. I don't like that. I don't want that." She continued to ramble.

"I feel like a kid." She smiled, somewhat exhausted.

"You are young." Han agreed.

"You told me that I wasn't a child. Why?"

"You have old eyes."

So eyes were the window to one's soul. Hikari thought. But how many souls did she have? Did she have one, four, or nine?

Mukuro's reincarnations were his own. But Entaka, Takao and Hikari were all Mukuro's reincarnations. Hikari shook her head. This was getting confusing. And, wait…

"Did you just call me old?" Hikari narrowed her eyes. Han stumbled ever so slightly.

"No, of course not." He denied quickly.

Hikari huffed. It was clear that he had no idea how he had slighted her. She supposed that she would let that slide for now. She ignored the boyish laughter in her mindscape.

"We're going out of Iwa?" Hikari asked, looking around at her surroundings.

"…Roshi… he prefers not to interact with Iwa when possible." Han said quietly.

"Ah." Hikari nodded. Then a thought occurred to her. She stopped in the middle of the road.

"I forgot to tell nii-san!" She exclaimed. Hikari tilted her head and thought about it for a moment. The most Deidara would do was blow things up while searching for her. That would probably generate more paperwork for the Tsuchikage.

"Nevermind." She declared and continued walking. She could feel Han's thoughtful gaze linger on her.

Deidara would be fine. Probably.

Meanwhile…

"What do you mean she's not here, un?" Deidara yelled at the hapless instructor. Kurotsuchi clapped a hand over her mouth to hide her smile.

"S-S-She just disappeared!" He protested weakly.

"What kind of teacher are you? There were only two fucking students, un!" He snarled and stormed out of the room.

He was going to find Onoki and get the old man to explain, ignoring the fact that Hikari could take care of herself.

"I think I'm better at genjutsu." Hikari explained to Han, forming a leaf on her palm. She passed it to Han. He gingerly took it and examined it.

"It's very detailed, and it feels solid." He said with a frown in his voice.

"Mhmm. Nii-san said that I might have created an illusion of a man-eating plant that scared the crap out of him when I was one." Hikari folded her arms behind her head.

"Genjutsu are illusions. They are not meant to be solid." Han said slowly.

Genjutsu and illusions are different. Hikari thought. Illusions are meant to be solid, genjutsu are more of mirages. But she continued to let Han talk.

"Perhaps you unlocked a different form of kekkai genkai?"

"Nope. If I had a kekkai genkai, I would be exploding things. Like nii-san." Hikari smiled somewhat sadly as she was reminded once again about the plot.

There were so many different variables. Would he refuse to join the Akatsuki if she introduced the jinchuriki to him? No, that wouldn't work. He had lost a bet or something like that. Something about Itachi casting a genjutsu on him. Did that mean that Hikari should train her brother against Genjutsu? No, wait. Itachi was a genius, and he had a year on Deidara. Her brother wouldn't win either way. Maybe she should make him promise her something? But what could she do without generating more questions?

"Han?" Hikari asked timidly.

"Hmm?"

"Say, what if hypothetically, I know something bad might happen to my nii-san, and I can't let nii-san know about it? What should I do? Hypothetically, of course."

"…Hypothetically, you would be there, yes? You could stay by him and help him." Han regarded her with a curious look.

"Oh. Oh. I feel so stupid." Hikari blinked and shook her head. Of course she would be there. If she was there, Deidara might still defect, but he'd probably bring her along. If he didn't, she would still follow him and beat him up for not inviting her along. Then, if she was there, the bet probably wouldn't happen because she wouldn't let it. Or maybe she could exploit a loophole, and disregard the entire thing. Then her brother would be safe.

"…When we get back to Iwa, I'm introducing you to nii-san." Hikari decided. Maybe she really was thinking too much. Han would be good for her brother in any case.

Roshi was… interesting. And odd. And somewhat hard-headed. Hikari mentally added. He was like a cranky old uncle.

"You brought a kid. Why would you bring a kid?" Roshi gestured at her.

"What's wrong with being a kid?" Hikari retorted, feeling like she should be insulted.

"You're a kid. What about your parents? Unless he's your father." Roshi turned to Han, a suspicious look in his eye. Hikari bristled.

"He's not my father, damn it! Dad isn't…" She yelled at the old man, waving a hand in Han's direction, unsure on how to continue.

"That's what they all say." Roshi muttered.

Hikari glared at him.

"She's just a… friend." Han assured.

"She's a kid." Roshi deadpanned.

"What's wrong with being a kid?" Hikari repeated, somewhat peeved.

"Nothing. Forget I ever said anything." Roshi flippantly said and ignored her. Hikari twitched. Damn it. Goddamned four-year-old instincts.

"Fine!" Hikari returned childishly and sulked.

She felt slightly sorry for Han, having that cranky old coot as the only other jinchuriki around. Speaking of which...

"Why don't you guys have some sort of annual meet-up or something?" Hikari interrupted the two.

"Annual meet-up? Between jinchuriki?" Han voiced. He sounded incredulous.

"Mhmm. I mean there are nine bijuu, so there should be nine jinchuriki. That means seven others like you guys."

"We know how to count, brat. The Hidden Villages will never let that happen. What would happen if we all decided to form a hidden village of our own? Besides, some jinchuriki like the one-tailed and the nine-tailed container are kept secret. Even though everyone obviously knows who they are." Roshi scoffed.

"A mini hidden village sounds nice." Hikari stated pointedly.

"Not very loyal to Iwa, are you?" Roshi stared at her sternly.

"Nii-san's loyal to Iwa (I think). I'm loyal to nii-san." Hikari returned. "I'm not even a goddamned ninja!"

"Point." The old man admitted, and took a swig of his sake. Hikari wondered where the bottle of sake came from.

"If you can find a way to gather all of us in the same place, then maybe we'll consider a gathering, eh? Han?"

Han nodded along.

She fell silent and listened to the conversation between the two. It was actually an interesting set-up. Han would inform Roshi about the things that happened in Iwa, as well as the information Iwa had access to, while Roshi would tell Han about the info he had gathered while in self-exile.

Hikari had a feeling that she would probably like the other jinchuriki as well. Perhaps this would be her goal.

Hikari later returned to Iwa in better spirits. How could she not, when she had a challenge laid out in front of her, something for her to finally do?

Deidara turned out to have blown up almost all the training grounds from all that pent-up stress. When he found Hikari, he had lectured her about leaving by herself.

"Nii-san. I think I'm finding myself again." Hikari told him with a smile that couldn't be anything but tired.

Deidara just hugged her. Because his sister was hurt, had been hurt, and he hadn't known that, he had no idea what was wrong with her. (He wouldn't understand until much later that she was what the others would call 'broken'.)

Hikari laughed as she lay next to her brother on the cliff. She rested her head against his arm, watching the birds fly in the sky. She reached out a hand, as if to grasp the clouds.

It was perfect, so perfect. If only things could always remain like this. Was this peace? Hikari asked herself silently.

"What's peace, nii-san?"

"…I don't know." Deidara answered honestly. His life as a shinobi were filled with blood. He had gotten his first kill when he was seven. He didn't know what peace was, even if it was staring at him in the face.

"I think that peace is tranquil. Small little moments like now. I want it to last forever, but that would just be boring, y'know?"

"…yeah. I think I do, un." Deidara admitted.

Hikari felt herself drifting off to sleep, then there was a huge vibration that jolted her awake. She jumped to her feet, as did her brother. The both of them exchanged startled looks. An earthquake? Here? In Iwa?

Then there was the sound of crumbling earth. Her eyes widened. Of course things would never be perfect. Life had never been fair for Rokudo Mukuro and his reincarnations. She ran forwards and pushed her brother towards the mainland with all her strength. The earth had already been eroded from the rain, and with the earthquake, it broke. Hikari slipped on the uneven rocks and was sent tumbling down to the river below.

Hikari watched her brother stare at her as she fell. She sighed. She should have expected something like this. And she had. She had just been in denial.

So Hikari closed her eyes and smiled one last time for her brother. She refused to see his tears. She refused to hear his horrified yells. She refused to acknowledge the fact that she was crying. Good things never lasted. But for now, she would pretend that this was the end. She would pretend that she was happy. No, it wasn't pretence. She was happy. At least she never had the chance of losing her brother. She was selfish, but she wanted to be selfish, if it meant that this wasn't another tragedy.

Hikari ignored the impact of her body against the cold water. She felt herself be submerged and was swept away. There was nothing a five-year-old could do. Thus, Hikari slept once more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wanted to edit this story, but never got around to doing it. So, here's the unedited chapter


End file.
